Subject: Barista wanted
Posted: 17 Oct 2009 20:21 EDT
OMFJCOAS – I am so totally perfect for this job! Not only do I have experience serving coffee at the Caribou on Coventry, I have also retail experience at the GAP on Coventry, bussing tables at the T.G.I. Friday’s on Coventry and cleaning bathrooms at the MacDonald’s on Coventry. I would provide references, but my tenure at those last three, wretched establishments were brief and none-too-stellar; I was hoping people like you might understand. I am punctual and efficient, just don’t ask me to smile at anyone.
On a personal note, I live on the dark side and will kill myself if you do not give me this job. GET ME OUT OF COVENTRY!!!!!!!
Subject: Re: Barista wanted
Posted: 17 Oct 2009 22:58 EDT
Well. We’d better give the job then, right?
Show up tomorrow promptly at 5 PM. The key is under the backdoor mat. Have the place ready to open by 6 PM. You will start at $7.50 and we will raise that shortly thereafter if things go well. You can give us all the ugly legal details when you arrive.
All tips are yours. Keep not smiling.