The plan has changed, instead of a one-act based on The Vampyre, we now strive for aone-act made of three ten-minute plays, each based on one classic vampire story from the past two hundred years. Polidori's story is now the first part, and I have given myself the freedom to alter the narrative as I choose, to make the whole work.
I have produced a first draft of this brief ten-to-fifteen minute section. And unlike my last pass by the Unit, which was all about my work's incoherence and confusion, this time it was met with positive support, interest and a great deal of helpful criticism.
Change in Names:
Ruthven is now Darvell. Darvell was Byron's name from the fragment of a novel he abandoned. I returned to Byron's work to create a lot of the language for the letters from Aubrey.Unit comments:
Aubrey is now Aubrey Porlock. In Polidori's tale, he has no full name, he is simply Aubrey. The name "Porlock" came to me in a dream ... no, that's a joke. Porlock was what I felt was an unfortuante amalgam of Poliori and Orlock - Orlock the name of the vampire in the film Nosferatu. What my wife reminded me that Coleridge was interrupted by a person from Porlock as he composed Kubla Khan.
SG: Great language and atmopshere. Unclear: The custom of young British men of means making their journey "On the Continent." It will also help contrast the stark final letter from Aubrey if his early missives are more exuberant and enthusatsic - more young, optimistic and hopeful.
SG: Some passages are difficult, keeping in mind the advanced youth and/or age of the target audience (isn't that weird? theater written for both teenagers and senior citizens) you do not want them to "tune out."
DM: The challenge is to keep the tone and the flavor with out zoning out - simplify the language.
SG: The narrator figure should be more contemporary, someone for the audience to hang onto.
MG: We need permission to laugh early on.
ES: This will keep it from sliding into melodrama.
SG: Beginning with the young man may create a connection to a young audience.
DH found a quote from Dracula that might make for a good title or subtitle: The Dark Side of Twilight. Given the path my characters will take over the four short stories presented my original title was Evolution of the Vampire. Provocative. Educational.